Post Meaning through Ambiguity

So I guess the cool thing to do now is write poetry.

First off, know that there isn’t much poetry that I like. Some can be profound and make me think about life and whatnot, but most of it strikes me as an attempt to sound intellectual and/or tragically misunderstood by intentionally making it so that I have to guess at its meaning. It’s like if I don’t get the poem, I’m obviously not sophisticated enough to understand its author. Essentially, poetry of this sort is like condescention in written form.

However, intended as I explained or not, the one attribute that most all poetry seems to share is ambiguity. This discovery has inspired me to construct a theory to this regard. Here it is:

The Drake Theorem of Poetry: “Any given subject, statement, or thought, when expressed in a vague and esoteric manner, instantly becomes eligible to be classified as poetry.”

As a matter of fact, I’ve just made up an addendum to this theory:

First Corollary to the Drake Theorem of Poetry: “Given The Drake Theorem of Poetry to be true, it follows that a poem’s quality is directly proportional to and can be accurately measured by the amount of ambiguity contained within.”

You know what? I’m on a roll. I’ve even got a second corollary going.

First Corollary to the First Corollary to The Drake Theorem of Poetry: “Given The Drake Theorem of Poetry and it’s First Corollary to be true, a poem’s quality is therefore inversely proportional to the amount of sense it makes.”

So, by Drake’s Theorem of Poetry and its corollaries, I have officially constructed the greatest lyrical work in the English language. Ready for it? Here it is anyways.

~ The Poem of Everything ~
by Kurtis Drake.


There it is, in all its ambiguous glory! Short, sweet, and to the (lack of a) point!

I don’t apologize if I blew your mind.

All that said, let me say this. Not all poetry blows, and I’m no literary expert. For me it really just comes down to the fact that as an audience to any kind of writing, I like things to be clear. Say there’s a cake* mentioned in a poem – I don’t want to have to wonder if it was a symbol for truth, justice, heaven, or just a tasty baked desert.

I just want my cake uncomplicated.

Wait, did I just use cake as a symbol? Maybe if you were as complex as I am, you would understand.

*cue mysterious music*

*Bonus points for knowing where THE CAKE IS A LIE comes from.